The British!

IDENTITY
by paulasvaton

The British certainly are a unique species. Their days of glory may be long gone; however one cannot help but delight in the peculiarities that come to define this island of sarcastic tea-drinkers. Yet there is a paradox to the British breed.

The British are without doubt bestowed with a great many intrinsic worths: world-class humour, one of the few nations that have the ability to poke fun at themselves, a command of the English language which is significantly more refined than their friends across the Atlantic, Brits such as Hugh Grant who has indeed convinced females the world over of that old English gentleman charm, top-class journalism, just to name a select few. Yet amidst this there lurks a peculiar social awkwardness: if you want clarification on this just place a Brit next to an Italian and the ineptness becomes startlingly clear. Given these virtues of the British I find it rather perplexing how a grand nation such as Britain is so reserved. It's not that the British are shy in any way.

Rather what it stems from is the deeply entrenched cultural trait of overt politeness. This in itself can be argued to be a good quality, but not when it starts to play havoc during social situations. Compare meeting your continental European friend where you're propelled into a ceremonious kissing session: the British greeting in comparison consists of a handshake in the form of a wet sloppy fish. Not forgetting the British allergy of eye contact, I must say the British really are superbly placed at social gatherings. The British are too polite for their own good. Their civility prevents them from conveying in public any dissatisfaction. Do you notice how they always express the utmost delight at their meal in a restaurant? As we all know it's not because the food is actually good, far from it: complaining could potentially turn into an embarrassing affair. All well then in having a super positive nation. But the fact is moaning does indeed prevail. Although the Brits are by no means the worst offenders for moaning I have no tolerance with British moaning because if they never complain in the first place, how can they expect things to get better?

An underlying dilemma to the British social awkwardness is also the British preoccupation with private space. This is actually linked to their politeness because courteousness entails respect for other people. For the British this means choosing activities in which they will not be asserting themselves onto others. The British have a great love affair with their homes. Fending one's garden or house always takes precedence over socialising with one's neighbours. This privacy of space of courses manifests itself onto their bodies. Physical contact is regarded as the height of rudeness. Since when have British people been regarded as sexy? Their hideous sense of dress doesn't exactly add to their lack of sex appeal. Though I don't blame them for this; having had to endure school uniform throughout their lives, stepping out into the baffling world of fashion is a risky manoeuvre, especially in a country where designers seem only to be able to produce clothes in various shades of black.

Have you ever tried approaching a stranger in Britain? After body contact this is probably the most impertinent intrusion of private space. It's a shame that the British are so reserved because with their highly acclaimed wit they are the perfect candidates to strike up a random conversation with. But it's not that the British don't like to talk, they just prefer to talk about other's business. They are after all a nation of gossipers, be it about close friends or celebrities. So for all the mishaps this nation must bear at least the gossip-magazine industry has a safeguard future. It really is unfortunate that two seemingly amiable qualities, politeness and private space have had such disastrous effects on the British character.

To add further insult, according to hoteliers Brits are the least-liked tourists. This revelation says something very interesting though. It challenges the assumed qualities of politeness and private space. Abroad Brits shake off these traits. Nevertheless I cannot give them any more credit abroad than at home; as further proof of their social mortification it seems that without these traits they turn into obnoxious, rude and deeply embarrassing creatures. So perhaps, after all, politeness and private space are necessary coping mechanisms for the British character. At least in that way they stay civilised. Well, sometimes.